Where is the hickey?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
