i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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