things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
