therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
