He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
