wake up i wanna do it froggy style
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
