whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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