Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
