i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
