After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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