Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
is wine microwaveable?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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