Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
