I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
