I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
