If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
