just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
