just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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