she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
