Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
