...so i touched it.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
