i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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