Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
