I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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