is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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