Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
