We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize