I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize