Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
