seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
