I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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