Barsexuality is the new black.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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