Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
