After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
