Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I'm always down for nudity.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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