my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
