Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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