so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize