dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
