Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize