That's intense
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
