it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
