Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
