This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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