Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You made out with two different species that night
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize