would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
