they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
And then he peed in my hair
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