I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize