Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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