i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
