naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
