this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
