I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
