Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
