You just made me feel so damn special
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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