Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
