tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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