im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
