so explain again why im purple
no
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
