Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
