we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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