I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
someone get that fucking seahorse.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
