I can't breathe out the right side of my face
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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